Nannas Home. See Also: Quest to be Striker - For the goals. And Roundup Season 3 , Roundup Season 4, Roundup Season 5
A First Person View of 'That Game' From the Sidelines By The Coach (an edited email originally sent to Guy Fraser)
But if you want high nannas drama I got it for you OK. It’s semi finals time, we’re playing the (almost) undefeated wasted fricken youth, but where are the Nannas? I’ve got a sprained ankle, takeshi is working, rhian is in the daintree, hugh’s a no-show, so we ring in Big Jim and go into battle. First five minutes and the big terminator guy (hes only played a few games with them so maybe you don’t know him but he’s pretty much built like van damme circa universal soldier, and perhaps even taller) falls on andy and when he gets up just drops his knee into andys chest right in front of me (I’m coaching on the sideline), so I step onto the court and say(ok I’m yelling) “that’s outrageous, that’s absolutely disgraceful”. I don’t care if the guys made of titanium, I’m not going to let him walk over andy like that. Anyway he moves for me and grabs me by the shirt and starts pushing me and I just put my arms up in the air and shake my head because I figure if try and hit the guy its going to be one of those moments where I give it everything I got and hit him square on the chin only he doesn’t go down or even move his head he just looks at me mad and I’m holding my hand with a broken wrist thinking “I think I pissed him off”. So my plan is to take a hit(hopefully it’s not fatal) and we’ll settle it in the justice system where his brawn don’t count for nothing and my moral high ground and legal connections are better than a baseball bat in the nuts. Of course it settles down pretty quick and the lawyers will have to wait for another day and I only have to yell the words “shocking and disgraceful” a couple more times.
So the nannas are playing pretty good, we have a bit of luck and the youthers are getting frustrated cos they aint dominating, and then Tao scores the first goal. Now they’re real pissed off. Anyway the game goes on Angry Arthur gets a yellow card for slapping Tao in the face, they score a couple of goals, there’s about a minute and a half to go when Chas gets an equalizer. Fucking madness, we’re going to extra time – golden goal. By this time the hippos and the Rhinos have finished the other semi final(which the hippos won) and they have come to cheer the Nannas(cos noone likes those wasted youth assholes, they really are scum) So the joints packed with Nanna’s fans screaming. From the kickoff at the start of extra time we nearly get a goal, talk about anxiety I end up lying on my back screaming a couple of times, the pressure is that intense. Unfortunately no-one can get a goal in the six mins of extra time so its going to penaltys. A penalty shoot out, I was afraid of this. I won’t go into details, cos its a horrible situation for everyone penalty shoot outs, you may as well toss a coin, suffice to say we lost, but we did not lose our pride. But that was easily the most emotionally charged, intense, all at stake game of soccer I have seen the Nannas play. A day that will be writ large in the Nannas Annals.
Quest to be Striker has been decided. I believe he's a virgin striker.
Coach Out
And so it came to pass that half a season passed with barely a word from the Coach, and quite an interesting half a season it was too. It was half a season in two halves. Firstly, there came the shit half, a half in which the Nannas truely lived up to their potential as the worst of the worst, the crappest of the crap, the shitest of the shite. A whole lot of turning up in brown and disgracing the hallowed Nannas' strip. It's a half a half a season best not dwelt upon, except let's all keep it in the back of our minds, that we are but a couple of shithouse performances away from being the deadset biggest bunch of indoor soccer playing losers ever to take to the pitch, yep we're a fucking knife edge away from being absolute ground zero dictionary definition worst soccer team on planet earth. My fellow Nannas we do not want this mantle.
And perhaps deep down we all already knew this, because a funny thing happened halfway through the first half of the season, the Nannas turned their form around. Was it the world cup, was it the coaches return from theatrical duties, was it the presence of Pete "Pedro" Circuitt fresh from a South American scouting mission, was it Guy Fraser's departure for the continent, who can say for certain? But the Nannas are out there busting arses as we head to the pointy end of the season. Where to start with the deeds and derring dos of the past three matches? Probably with the ring ins, the blow ins, the part time Nannas, the Nannas who don't always get the recognition they deserve. Firstly the controversial Brown and Proud and Disallowed moment in the dying moments of the game against the Flying Rhinos. Did Pete Circuitt get the ball across the line before, during or after the sounding of the final buzzer, the ref said no, the Quest to be Striker Committee said yes(kind of), and that's what really counts in a Nannas heart. No doubting Big Jim Hannan's entree to The Quest to Be Striker table, two emphatic goals in the match vs The Barrell Riders, and he rugger rucked the goalies head in the process. Shane Haseman took out the "Most Attention to Kit Detail Award" by a proverbial country mile in his first run for the Nannas. It's all about the detail Shane, and we salute you.
A big special thanks and warm coaches bear hug to all those who wrote in with names for the Nannas Mascot. Seeing as none of you did the coach will name the little fella himself: Nutsy - The Nutsiest Prairie Squirrel
Anyone's trophy in the Quest To Striker
Coach Out