Nannas Home. See Also: Quest to be Striker - For the goals
[Rnd 15] 5/3 Win over Edinburgh FC - [Semi Final] 3/5 Loss to Edinburgh FC
We leave this season with our heads held high Nannas, we jumped the best team once, they were ready for us the second time. But in a week of sadness the Nannas had the greatest miracle bestowed upon them, a miracle of truly miraculous proportions, a miracle of the highest order, a miracle were we all to live to infinity we may never see again - yes that's right a goal from the boot of The Lumberjuck, G-Force Guy 'Geordie la Forge' Fraser aka Fergus Ray. Truly the Gods (and I suspect every single last one of them) intervened on this one.
As for Quest to be Striker - All kudos (for he is the one they call striker) to Chas/ChaChi/Chico/Chris, proving that he is the man whose foot we must respect, when near the goal mouth opening. All results - All divisions now finalised.
Onto next season now Nannas, no excuses, no unfulfilled dreams, no missed opportunitys, no might have beens, no near misses, no broken hearts, no close calls. Just One Billion Billion percent pure Nannas golden brown glory.
Never a frown, with golden brown.
Coach out
Team Photo [Rnd 15]
Team Photo [Semi-Final]
[Rnd. 13] 5/2 Win over The Mad Menches - [Rnd. 14] 5/2 Win over Flipjacks
Peaking at the right end of the season, that's the way Nannas. Coming home like a freaking steam train avalanche of unstoppable unyielding hydraulic power backed up with the brute force of millions of stampeding wildebeast hell bent on trampelling all before them, screaming like mad mad ravenous pig dogs, ripping the raw flesh off our still living opponents with our filed-to-a-point incisors, standing on their throats and not getting off, a cold clinical demolition of those who would deny us, like a highly trained terrorist response team working room to room eliminating that which stands in our way. This is the way to finish the season.
Two weeks, two wins. Special mention to Chris Gill who seemed to spend the whole game[Rnd. 13]striking poses on the goal line with the ball spectacularly saved just within his control this effort has pretty much de-menchybitched us. So rinse that foul taste out of your mouths boys, we got that monkey off our back. Tao kudos to you, you step off the plane, you slot a couple a goals. ChaChi, you done simmilar, and though we've come expect that high level of play from you, you still have our respect. Most of all it's the million Nannas we've had out there that makes it so hard for us to lose. While we may not get as much time on the field as we would like, it works to our advantage. And while we're on that topic with every Nanna playing there's less that 18 mins field time per person, so its up to each and every Nanna to make sure they aint shafting their fellow brother comrade nannas by playing for longer than that. The coach can't police you- you gotta police yourselves, and show your brothers some respect.
Well it's come to this: if we win our last game and the gods smile upon us [and why would our well worshipped friends upstairs not?] in terms of other teams doing the right thing and losing in the right way and the goal difference falling to our advantage then we're in the finals. So what we gotta focus on is winning against the best team in the league. Which as the luck of the draw would have it is the only team we have to play three times. Boy, Walt himself could not have written a better "overcoming the odds" scenario. The humble Nannas up against a vastly superior well oiled machine, need the win desperately to fulfill the hopes and dreams of their brave little battling hearts, fate conspires against them, the odds conspire against them, sheer logical intelligence says they have no chance: what hope do they have? They have the Hope of Life, because where there's life there's hope, while there's still a game to go, and statistics say we can still make it the Nannas will never lie down, the Nannas will never surrender, the Nannas will never say it's too hard and not try, the Nannas will not die until we are sure the coup de grâce has been delivered. So mark my words Nannas, while the man who says 'you have not made the finals' may be standing over us with a cocked pistol pointed at the back of our heads, he hasn't pulled the trigger yet - and we may still convince him to take his gun elsewhere and empty his clip into some other team
Quest to be Striker news: With two Nannas locked on 8 goals the Quest to be Striker Commitee had to use the Ancient and Traditional Countback Method to determine the current striker. And so after lengthy determination [just as the club has used throughout the ages] Coach was declared striker due to the glorious time honoured techniques of the Ancient and Traditional Countback Method.
Coach out
Team Photo [Rnd. 13]
Team Photo [Rnd. 14]
2/2 Draw with Groupware 4
Well Nannas, a fighting draw, perhaps we should have got up considering we were leading with 5 mins to go, but we can hold our heads high. Were it not for the outstanding goalkeeping of The G-Force Chris Gill the score could have been a lot less flattering. Special mention also to Cappy Kurgles McKurgen's goal from an impossible angle.
All Nannas take note: There seems to be a misconception that the season ends this week with our match against the sworn and bitter enemy the Menches, THIS IS WRONG -get off the Persian Rugs, there are still two games to go and an outside chance of making the finals. Where there's life there's hope Nannas, and we fight 'till the end.
Onto next week. While we may have the Flipjacks(nee Rhinos) making us cups of tea and darning our socks, when it comes to the Menches it is they who call us bitch. Yep, we run and fetch them a beer when they get thirsty and felate them at their want, and that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When a Menchy fancies a bit of 'hows your father' they holler and we come a running. That doesn't sit well with me. Should a Menchy require a pack of smokes and a sixer down the street while he's watching the footy a Nanna will stop doing their dishes and move a full speed to fulfill that Menchy's request. That's no way to live Nannas, slapped around by some fat, hairy arsed, bad breathed, neanderthal, cheater with anti-social tendencies. There's only one way to get your lipstick off his dipstick, and that's with a win on Thursday.
And Quest to be Striker news? I hear the interested wonder. Could it be The Coach is home? Already wearing the golden boot of the greatest mantle bestowable on those who would be called Nannas. Or are there other Nannas with designs on the prize of prizes? Nannas who fancy themselves cold enough in front of goal to worry the coach in the three remaining matches[+ finals]. There is certainly enough games, plenty of scoring time, and most of the Nannas are experienced enough in front of goals, but has any Nanna truly got the scallops to put up a fight for the Ultimate Honour Awardable to a Brown Man. We'll see.
Ok I think the coach has baited you enough now. Think: Brown and Proud; think: I don't want to be the Menches bitch no more; think: we can still make it.
Coach out.
3/5 Loss to Lynch Mob
I don't know about the rest of you Nannas, but I'm tired of losing to accountants, a 3/5 loss to a bunch of pen pushing suits, outclassed and outplayed, so let me say this 'Nannas the time to be angry is over, the time for recriminations has past, let us look to the future, let us only dwell on what will make us stronger, let us focus our considerable energies on building a mightier Nannas.
The time to rebuild is now; the time to rise up has come; the time for close, highly analytical, incisive dissection of the intricacies of the Nannas game is upon us. In this spirit I propose the identification of the Three Major Aspects of the Indoor Soccer Game, an honest rating of the Nannas current proficiencies in these aspects, and ways in which the Nannas might improve.
Quest to be Striker news: Three movers on the table this week The Coach, Andy Wong, and Cocky Cockballer, Kudos to them and those that came close (because I think it's fair to say that luck smiled upon us in front of goals last Thursday).
Coach Out
1/6 Loss to Poochie
Shit Nannas Shit. What the fuck. How can a team that took it all the way with the top of the ladder one week, bend over and get royally reemed by some shit fucking dog Poochies the next? Eh? Really. C'mon Nannas, are you out their to play some football or to watch some other guys run around you and kick some goals.
Ok that's as angry as I'm gonna get, lets focus on the positive... um... anybody... anything... uh-huh... that's right... not a whole lot to focus on is there? Not a whole lot of uplifting moments of soccer greatness by the Nannas. Hang on didn't I say I was done breaking your balls, well I ain't, not while there's clowns in human being suits masquerading as soccer players wearing the Nannas uniform. A uniform that happens to mean a lot to me. Smarten up Nannas, we aint gonna make the finals at this rate and we'll only have ourselves to blame
Quest to be Striker news. Well thanks to the sheer force of Hugh Covil's will the Nannas did not go scoreless. An excellent example of intimidating the ball over the line, and perhaps more importantly saving the nannas from a lap of the court with our shorts around our ankles.
Where to now Nannas? How we going to turn this around? The coach can only yell and scream at you to limited effect. Ultimately it's up to each and every Nanna to look within themselves and determine how badly they want to improve, how much a spot in the finals means to them, how the hurt of a bad bad loss can be put to some positive use.
Make or break next week Nannas, do or die trying, in a must win against the Lynch Mob. We beat those punk accountant freaks 6-5 last time but believe me that's no reason to be complacent, not with the Nanna's current hot and cold form. Lets get out there like we mean it.
Coach Out
BYE
No Team Photo Available
2/2 Draw with Edinburgh FC
Nannas o nannas, stepping up when it counts the most. A bunch of big game players. The kind of men who aren't afraid of the big challenges. Men you can turn to when the pressure is on - 500 psi and counting. Men who don't cower away when the enormity of the task at hand is pointed out. The situation we had last night was akin to that facing the SAS before they stormed the Iranian Embassy. Sure they were highly trained and motivated, but they were under no illusions as to the utmost seriousness and gravity of their endevours, yet they did not flinch when it came to the crunch, in the face of enormous odds they prevailed. In this game the Nannas surely proved that heroes still exist, and that you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it.
Where to now Nannas? Edinburgh are the top of the table, easily. So you don't have to be some genetic hybrid combination of Pélé and Einstein to see that this season is the greatest chance the Nannas have had so far to Go All the Way and stock the trophy cabinet with the best peice of mock silverware available in D-division. Realistically we can do this. We have the experience, talent and confidence, all we have to make sure of is the focus. Focus Nannas, going out hard right from the get go, week in week out, and playing 36 minutes.
Quest to be striker news: Ice Cold Tommy Two Times - The Ice Man, had no need to fiddle the stats this week, clearly out in front of The Quest to be Striker after once again being the only Nanna to trouble the scorekeepers. Greatly assisted by Dan in the second instance, and also wishing to acknowlege the role of the defenders, who often go unrecognised, but who remain the foundation of the Nannas. Some people may place a lot of emphasis on the scoring of goals, which is important - sure - but so is keeping them goals out. Perhaps the Bible summed it up best:
Yea tho' the striker may glean the highest merits resultant from conversion. None does the light of G-d shine so brightly upon as he who remains back, forgoing glory for the greater good.
Habakkuk 3. 23
Amen
Coach Out
2/0 Win over Flip Jack
Shakespeare said something like: 'A rose by any other name is still a rose" (of course I'm paraphrasing). My late friend Skills would have said it thus: YOU CAN'T GLOSS A TURD - SHIT STILL STINKS. Yep, those Flying Rhinos might be trying on a few fancy mind tricks with their name games, but they still stink on ice. The Nannas own them, name changes, new strips, playing in a g-string, any way they want to gloss themselves up they can't change that one fact. Their arse is ours.
Of course you don't get an arse like that cheap. You have to be worthy. Worthy as hell. You have to be true Mighty Fighting Nannas. You have to take balls in the stomach from the original boxer short wearing Tom Arnold and think nothing of it (Kudos to you Takeshi). You have to body check those punks right back in their face the way they body check you (Kudos to you Hugh 1). You have to tackle like you're doing some death blow manouvere you saw on a Manga movie once, that freaks the ref out enough to threaten to red card you (Kudos to you Fraser). You have to stop every single mach 4 shot on goal using whatever part of the body you can (kudos to you Gill Roy). You have to be the small guy weaving majestically around those big mongrels (kudos to you Andy Wong). You gotta be cold as ice, a freaking ice man, in front of goals (kudos to you Coach). You must lead from the front, and be a leader of men (kudos to you Kurgen).
Striker News. An extraordinary meeting of 'The Quest To Be Striker Committee' was held to interpret the rules governing the declaration of 'Striker'. After a closer reading of Clause 23, Sub Section 23, Paragraph 23, and subsequent to several hours vigorous debate a unanimous vote was carried to the effect that "In order for a Nanna to be in contention for the position of Striker in The Quest to be Striker during the season, he must be located with The Nation of Australia or it's Territories at the time of the posting of the statistics pertinent to the current season's Quest to be striker." This means that for the second time this season the Coach controversially heads The Quest to be Striker.
It's also time to think ahead. Looking a good chance to make the finals again so lets start thinking about the mo's and how we can look more like policemen come finals time.
Coach Out
No team photo available.
2/4 Loss to the Mad Menches
I guess The Coach kind of wagged this one. He wanted to see Chas get a good long run before he headed off. He thought Gimpy Gay Frase might finally put away a goal if the pressure was really on him. Besides the coach has no feud with the Menches. That bad blood brewed when he was absent another time. And the tux never made it back from the cleaners.
Coach Out
No team photo available
2/2 Draw With Groupware 4
The Coach is tired. It's that time of the season again. The excitement of the start of a new season has faded like the wallpaper at nannas house (an elderly female, not member of illustrious soccer team). These are the key games. The games that must be won. Wins here are a solid foundation for a finals house. 3 points in the bank at this stage means we're superannuated into the final four, which is what it's all about. Exactly the reason we wear brown. Specifically why there's a feeling in the pit of your stomach when you run out on the pitch sizing up the opposition thinking "these punks haven't got what it takes. What are they accountants? Is that a whole team of Tom Arnolds? These men aren't fricken winners and they will yield to the Nannas, because Nannas are out for Trophy Cabinet Silverware, and nothing will stand in their way." See what I'm trying to say here. Let your hunger for a little faux-gold man standing on a faux-marble plinth fuel the fire within that lights the way through the dark days of stepping up 150% pumped, week in week out to early season must win encounters. Every Match Counts.
So how'd the coach see the match? No doubt about it The Nannas were the best team on the night. That's good you might think. But lets have a look at the stats. Groupware 4 shots on goal: 2, Goals: 2. Nannas shots on Goal: 16, Goals 2. That's not how you win matches. What we've got here is a conversion problem. Lets make sure we slot every shot. Finishing finishing finishing. On the plus side what did we see. A beautiful through the gate goal. Hinkley through Howie to consumate finish from Wong. Kondo relishing in his position at the ultimate line of defense. All around good team defense, passing, moving, etc. then shot on goal -Ba Bow. Head falls to chest. Make 'em count Nannas c'mon!
Not much movement in the battle for Supreme Nanna Kudos: The Quest To Be Striker, with only Andy getting on the board. The Captain however was instrumental in forcing an own goal to redeem himself from the opening weeks transgression both in some sort of biblical, retributive, eye for an eye type cleansing, as well as statistically in as much as the opening weeks own goal will no longer be held against him if TQTBS comes down to a countback. And lets face it with current Striker Chas out of the game/country for an extended period of time TQTBS is like a speed freak's eyes - wide open. Seek glory Nannas - in the highest Nanna honour
Ok Nannas grind a cigarette butt out on your arm and scream: Slot every shot
Coach Out
6/5 Win Over The Lynch Mob
And the omens were good. The Nannas went out and won one for the unnamed one - Little John Rambo, Little Cocky Cock Punch Junior - Son of Cocky, May His life continue to bless the Nannas with wins and other good fortune.
Striker News: Striker Brown vaults himself into the lead with a brilliant hat-trick.
Other Good News in a week of Good News - Fraser did not have to run in goals. Why? Because we got ourselves another Natural Born Goalie to rival The One Gloved Maestro of Goal Prevention. [Is this making sense?] There ain't a lot of Men who instinctively come off their line out of goal when faced with imminent assualt by a renegade opposition striker hell bent on putting the ball in the back of the net, but Takeshi Kondo is, and he did, and the Nannas now sing his praise as a most worthy man in goal.
Let's keep winning Nannas. Let's keep dominating that mental game. Let's Keep grinding them down with our hard man stare.
No Team Photo Available. [Nannas who can, let's try and make one available next week]
2/6 Loss to Poochie UTD.
Another loss. Time to ask ourselves Why? Probably the same reason there's no team photo again. Same reason we spent sunday drinking beer at the pub, or nursing our expectant wives/girlfriends, or talking about programming, or playing with our kids, instead of doing pushups in the mud at training. The Nannas have lost the will to be Nannas. What a sad fucking day that is. Just a bunch of blokes who turn up in brown shirts so some young punks can run around us. Some dudes who used to have something going with a bit of police respect, who once played in a grand final, who are now just a society for donating $53.75 to APISC of a week, really fellas if that's all you want to do we can save a lot of money on laundry and just send a lump sum cheque at the start of each season then cut straight to the Chief of a Thursday because that's what it's starting to feel like.
On the positive side we drew the second half, and we were moving the ball around nicely. But a long way to go if we want to be competetive.
Quest to be Striker News. Tom is officially striker despite three nannas being equal on 1 goal because of the new determinatory laws. Jimmy from Ireland is dicounted on account of being a ring in, Captain Kurgen Hinkley will need to be at least one clear because countback laws take into account his own goal in the first match of the season.- So All Hail Striker Tom The Surest Booter of the Ball-.
No Team Photo Available
BYE
No Team Photo Available
1/10 Loss to Edinburgh FC
With so many regular Nannas 'unavailable' (and some were a little less unavailable than others) for only the second time in their glorious history the Nannas had to resort to international ring-ins. Despite the obvious talent on offer, there was a lack of total team cohesion (ttc), that is hard to surmount after the end of season break and with so many Nannas not playing.
Jimmy from Ireland scored a standout goal after an interception and gave the Nannas a gleam of hope early in the peace, but that was the only look in the Nannas got against a well drilled opposition.
If the Nannas want to make the finals again they will have to train hard and learn some moves.
No Team Photo Available