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Five Brave Nannas (In honour of the time One Car Drove)
by Thomas A. Howie
Should you ask me of The Nannas
Of their glory and their bravery
Of their bold determination
Of their blood soaked comerad’rie
Of their scallops hung like donkeys’
Of their skill, their style, their strut?
I would speak then of an evening
Large in legend, writ in gold.
I would would tell you of a Thursday
A one car mission into history.
On that Thursday, large in lore.
Five men short, five hear the call
No goalie present, just some balls
Big as melons, swinging low.
Five brave Nannas, one car driving,
From an opening, full of lager,
Full of reefer, full of mettle.
Fate awaiting, five brave Nannas.
Little Hazey, in the child’s seat.
Dan the straight man!?! - He’s a’ drivin’
Captain Kurgen riding shotgun,
Big Jim Camper, legs a twitchin’
The Coach his boys a’ hydratin’.
To the field our brave Nans take.
Fidel the foe, as green as cake
Icing on a birthday pie.
Five brave Nannas - one car drives.
Despite the flair, the knack, the pluck
The Nans they seem shit out of luck
When Haseman wears a mighty blow
Upon his knee to send him low.
The court he leaves, and our brave boys
Where once were five, now number four.
Now you ask me of the Nannas
Did they fumble, fall and fail?
Did they scare, and shriek and wail?
Did they run like frightened children?
No! I tell you, these brave Nannas
Stood up tall and proud and forceful
Playing smart and cool and iceful
Just like pro’s, not scared of Fidel.
The Nannas fought despite the objects
Fought like tigers in a rathole
Fought as brown proud men they out to
Their just reward a goal to Cockshanks.
And though besmirt with wracking pain
He ran back on that mighty Shane
And played in goal as though was he
By our lord G-d, ordained to be.
Also mentioned in dispatches,
Big Jim Camper, like Don Johnson.
In open space and running freely
Too much time, and too much motion,
A deadly strike - close the curtain.
‘Keep on punchin’, Fidel they yelp
A loser’s cry in times of trouble
Only drove the Nannas harder
Bent them over, slapped ‘em double.
Ball bestring’d, passes pinpoint
Shots on goal, always ‘curate
Show no mercy, expect no quarter
Our five brave Nans, do it easy.
And thus the Nans, though only five,
And in one car they had to drive.
Bought a glory to their team
Five brave men, a team, did ream.
Views from the sideline #1
By Nats & Als
We come to the games,
to choose our best nanna,
from a field of hot choc abbies,
they're a loada big daddies,
our brains whirl with confusion,
Maybe it's all an illusion
"Hey Natleanne, I'd 'ave any of 'em, wow"
"Yeah Al's, I 'ave me claws in one now.
He reckon's he's goin away,
but man, Gee's gonna pay,
cause I'll be a free bird,
and there's loadsa nanna's that've 'eard."
They're a talented bunch,
but we can't see that much,
Cause we really, really stare
when we're looking down there,
the shorts are too loose,
the girls wanna see some more juice.
So re-think those shorts,
make 'em smaller, be better sports.
Tighter is good as well,
Then we can really surf the big swell.
Carn, take our advice,
it'll add a bita spice,
the spectators will grow
Just like Chris's fro.
_______________
The Arrogant Coach Did Fuck Me
by Guy Barkfry Fraser (words by Thomas Howie)
(Maybe you'll see the poem Maybe you won't)
Freaky's dead Barkfry ...
I call the shots on the site
I say what goes up, I say when it goes up
Maybe it ain't going up at all now
Maybe you just fucked yourself
Yeah fucked yourself real bad
__________
Anthem
by Guy Barkfry Fraser
We’re the Mighty Fighting Nanna's
Flying free and proud.
We're on the wings of an Eagle,-
High above the clouds.
(Chorus)
You've got the spirit of a warrior,(alternate word Tiger)
With the tenderness of a child.
A League of Brown men –
Who’ll always take it on! …
You’re a Nanna (hmmm-hiiimmmm)
You're a Nanna (hmmm-hiiimmmm)
Tonight you'll take on your greatest challenge,
those Menches Bitches -
(quicken tempo moving into spoken word*)
will pay the ultimate price,
*Kurgen, please God don't kill anyone,
Chris, keep it low my friend, and Chas
don't hold back, you're all clear kid
now let's blow this thing and go home.
(Repeat chorus)
You've got the spirit of a warrior,(alternate word Tiger)
With the tenderness of a child.
A League of Brown men:-
You’ll always take it on!
You're a Nanna (hmmm-hiiimmmm)
You're a Nanna (hmmm-hiiimmmm)
(In Commentators voice)
It's Cockman - with a hack off the left, but
Tom Arnold in boxer panties stealing the
prize,- Wally Wong can't stop the POWER,
of Arnold intercepting with an illegal
bitch-slap, this ref has GOT-TO-be blind
Tony...
(back to song)
It's the spirit of the challenge, a legacy of
the Proud,
The Best of the Best!,
United in the Qu-est, ...
Bring it on, (Bomm-Bouum)
Bring it on…(Bomm-Bouum)
(In Commentators voice)
Takeshi out of NOWHERE with a beautiful
head high kick to Arnold and he is down,
but the big man's, NOT OUT, he's getting up.
Kondo, on yellow card warning, to new Sub
Chas’m Martin, packing a lot of Police
respect out there, out in striking distance,
and... HE MAKES IT! A beautiful curling kick!
High fives the order of the day.
The Albanian import for the Menches, Volvo
Martinezz coming into Gill's lair, - Fra’say,
the French lumberjack, out of nowhere
strikes him down with a mighty vengence,
and passes out to the big man himself Hugh Covill.
Covill to new sub Tao Weis, charging
through the pack, to the Howitzer -to the
Hinkley, - off Hinkley's head, and INTO
GOAL. Whistle blows, game over, another
victory to the MIGHTY FIGHTING NANNAS...
(repeat final chorus)
You've got the spirit of a warrior,(alternate word Tiger)
with the tenderness of a child.
You will never give in? -
Always take it on!
You're a Nanna (hmmm-hiiimmmm)
A Mighty Fighting Nanna (hmmm-hiiimmmm)
_________________
Haiku Triptych
by Thomas A. Howie
Brown hard hot and right
Men with purposeful prowess
They are the Nannas
Who fight so bravely
Steel eyed determination
Men of true honour
Comradeship of strength
Police Officer respect
Teamness of beauty
_______________
So Brown
by Rhian J. Hinkley (The Captain)
So brown
So tight and brown
So tight and browwn and tight
Tight is right and brown is tight and right
Soo fucken brown and tight
oooooh it's so tight you fucken brown fuck
tight you right you brown little tight fight light
fuck you brown fuck oohhhh brown tight litlle right fuck
_____
The Nannas Limerick #1 (The Finals Limerick)
by Thomas A. Howie
The Nannas were thought to be jokin'.
By those who proffessed to stockbrokin'.
But the Nannas be brown,
No need for a frown.
Come finals time they were a smokin'.
____
Be Strong Nannas
a haiku by James F. Hannan
Nannas on the nose
Can they rekindle the fire
It will come again
__________
Cake Brown
by Thomas A. Howie
Brown like a cake,
Or a lovely smoked hake.
Brown as a leaf
Or a bit of cooked beef
Brown as can be
Brown you will see
Brown be the way
Brown happy and gay
_____________
Good Grief Its The Nannas
by Thomas A. Howie
So Brown and so Proud.
Nice to the ump and always loud.
Avalanching teams
and drinking at the chief.
Why it must be the Nannas -
My golly good grief.
__________
Brown & Gold: The Search for the
Enduring Symmetry of the Printed Word
by Thomas Howie (with a nod to Pi 0)
GOLD BROWN GOLD BROWN GOLD
BROWN GOLD BROWN GOLD BROWN
BROWN BROWN GOLD BROWN BROWN
BROWN BROWN BROWN BROWN BROWN
BROWN BROWN GOLD BROWN BROWN
GOLD BROWN BROWN BROWN GOLD
BROWN GOLD GOLD GOLD BROWN
GOLD BROWN BROWN BROWN GOLD
BROWN BROWN GOLD BROWN BROWN
BROWN BROWN BROWN BROWN BROWN
BROWN BROWN GOLD BROWN BROWN
BROWN GOLD BROWN GOLD BROWN
GOLD BROWN GOLD BROWN GOLD
_______
Eating Eskimo Epic
by Thomas A. Howie (with thanks to Celine Dion)
(sung to the tune of: I done a foolish thing[but I can make it better] by Celine
Dion)
Well the Nannas sailed forth to eat some eskimo
young suckling sweet and fleshy, oh don't you know!
But lo, when they got there,
instead they got a scare,
'twas not a 'lightful feast,
rather a horrid beast.
And the mauling they recieved upon that fateful day,
gouged a lesson into their brains that willn't go away:
(Spoken - rapido)
Never base your judgement of an unseen opponent on the guesses and half truths
derived from an assumption determined only by a glance at three words in a fixture.
(Chorus)
We are Brown we are strong
Sometimes we get it wrong.
We are Golden and emboldened
We will never be a foldin'
And henceforth did the Nannas treat every team they met,
with nothing but complete and total uttermost respect.
And thus they did prevail,
true icons of the male,
well hung and full of fight
because they learned it right
And with this newfound attitude as the Nanna's Paradigm
'twas glory and honour awaiting them time after time after time.
(Repeat Chorus)
______
Two Line Poem
by Thomas Howie
We 'aint frownin'
We golden brownin'
_
The Length For Which I'm Going to Give It (Thirty Six Minutes)
by C. Thomas Howie
36 minutes
36 minutes
that's exactly how long
for which im gonna give it
give it my all
for 36 minutes
'cos nannas aren't chokers
and nannas never quit it.
Nannas never stop
until the buzzer bib bips
and the buzzer don't bib bip
'til 36 minutes
______
Nannas 'r' Winners
by Thomas Howie
(sung to the tune of a booze less ad)
Nannas are winners
Nannas are the best
See the best in you come shining through
You're a mighty Brown Nanna.
The Greatest!
______
The Finals Poem (The Brainwashing Poem)
by Thomas Howie
Im a nanna and Im proud
Im a nanna and Im loud
Im a nanna and I kill
Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill
Kill them all
and win the flag
Nannas are killers
and we got it in the bag.